I’m not ashamed to say that I have a hard time finding balance and consistency with citrus drinks. I’m attributing this to the variable, which is the citrus itself. Not all limes are created equal… some are more tart than others, and depending how old they are, how large they are, etc., the amount of juice from a lime (or any piece of citrus) can vary drastically. So screw that “juice of half a lime” crap… measure the juice, figure out your happy recipe, and adjust accordingly. Here’s my basis for a few of the classics…
Margarita
1.5 oz. 1o0% Agave Tequila Blanco (Campo Azul or El Jimador)
.75 oz. Curacao (I like Cointreau)
.5 oz. Lime Juice
1 tsp. Pure Cane Syrup (2:1 by weight mixture)
.25 tsp. Ground Sea Salt
Shake / Strain / Up or down
This is the perfect margarita for me, if the lime juice is on point. If the lime is a little old, it seems to loose it’s tartness, so I’ll use a bit more. However, I really don’t like overly citrusy drinks. Also, the sugar and salt are essential… I made this drink 2:1:1 (without either) for a long time, but I’ve got to say it’s a much richer, complex cocktail with them included.
Sidecar
1.5 oz. Cognac
.75 oz. Cointreau
.75 oz. Lemon Juice
.5 tsp. Pure Cane Syrup (2:1 by weight mixture)
Shake / Strain / Up or down
There is something tragic about a Sidecar that’s too sweet, or too citrusy. It’s just a damned shame… but made correctly, where the ingredients complement each other… man, that shits just wizardry. Wizardry.
Aviation (Proper)
1.5 oz. Gin (Beefeater or Tanqueray)
.5 oz. Maraschino
.5 oz. Lemon Juice
.5 oz. Creme de Violette
Shake / Strain / Up or down
Balls yes. The balance on this one is important. Too much of any of the back three can make this bastard straight up gross, but balanced, it’s a taste sensaysh.
The Pegu Club is also a hard one, but I don’t have any Orgeat syrup… I’ll get back to you on that. Any particular ones you find difficult??
For the “morning after the night before,” I humbly submit the Saratoga Brace Up…
Saratoga Brace Up
1.5 oz. Brandy or Cognac
.5 oz. Lemon Juice
.25 0z. Lime Juice
1 Whole Egg
1 Tsp. Sugar
2 Dash Ango
2 Dash Absinthe
Dry shake, shake over cracked, strain, serve in a fizz glass without ice, top with soda water.
A few thoughts… a fizz should never be served over ice. A fizz is meant to be consumed straight away, not lingered over like a cocktail. Thus a fizz should be served in a glass somewhere between an old fashioned style and a collins. I personally use an 8 oz. water style glass, which has a relatively narrow neck and helps support the head of the foam. And one whole egg is probably enough for two drinks. And feel free to use a syrup if you want. It’ll make it easier. And go light on the booze – stick to the 1.5 oz. a called for – this is, after all, a morning drink. And it promises to be a very, very long day.
If you didn’t have the pleasure of attending the 2010 GUD Summer Picnic, you lost out, majorly. It was such a boss event, I recommended we posthumously rename it the “SuperMeat: 2010.” The recommendatio (reh-co-men-daysh) was denied, but the spirit lives on.
It's important to be prepared.
Rhubarb Shrub
2.5 L White Rum
.75 L Lemon Juice
2.5 L Club Soda
Bundle of Mint
Combine all ingredients (except for the soda) up to three days in advance. Allow the mint to soak in the punch for a few days, and strain it out before serving. Add soda just before serving, and stir. Serve over ice, garnish with mint. Makes about 60 cups.
Rx Julep
1.75 L Brandy
.75 L Rye
.5 L Mint Syrup
Bundle of Mint
First, make simple syrup as you normally would. I made about a full bottle, and while it was still warm – not hot – added a large cleaned bunch of mint, and let it sit in there overnight. Strain the mint out, and bottle. Add the Cognac and rye to a large pitcher (I used Raynal and Jim Beam), and add mint syrup to taste. Ends up with about a gallon of the stuff, should make about 30 cups. Garnish with mint, and imbibulate with a shorty straw. If possible, this should be poured over crushed ice so it can get watered down a bit. It’s pretty much just straight booze.
This is one from the archives that never got published because I wasnt really happy with the pics. However, having just done a really sucky punch post, I figured I’d dust off this little bitch and give a shot…
So Bryan calls me up on Saturday and tells me he is going to some fucking “house party” in the city and asks if I would like to go, etc. I agree, on the condition that we make a punch to take along. I’ve got various reasons for wanting to do this, the first of which is I don’t like keg beer, and the second of which is I don’t like hipsters in tight pants. Okay, that has nothing to do with the punch, but I wanted to squeeze it in. Also, I’ve wanted to make a punch ever since I got Wondrich’s book “Imbibe!” – a gift from Bryan and his fiancée wife Kate. I’ve read thru quite a few recipes, but the one that has really intrigued me was the Philadelphia Fish House Punch (mainly for it’s bitchin name). However, the big problem is this recipe calls for a now defunct ingredient… real peach brandy. Peach brandy would in theory be liquor made by fermenting peaches and distilling the resulting mash. Nobody actually makes it like this anymore, for a reason that is beyond me. While there are a “peach brandies” on the market, these are essentially peach flavoring added to grain alcohol… think peach schnapps. Fortunately Wondrich addresses this issue in his book and provides a work around, using the following recipe which replaces the actual peach brandy with a 9:1 ratio of brandy to peach schnapps:
Philadelphia Fish House Punch
9 oz. brandy
6 oz. rum
1 oz. peach brandy
2/3 cup sugar
3 good sized lemons (6 0z. of lemon juice)
40 oz. water
Note, the original recipe pointed out that this would generally be enough for one person, while Wondrich states it’s more suited for 4 – 5. This means Bryan and I should be able to spilt it, as it’s about a half a gallon.
Preparing the Oleo-Sacrum
The first step is to peel the lemons - avoiding as much of the pith as possible - and placing the peels in a large bowl along with the sugar.
Next, using a muddler (or fucking ladle like me) extract as much of the oils from the lemon peel as possible. This will give your sugar a very ass kicking tanginess.
Add the sugar and lemon peels to one pint of boiling water, and stir just until the sugar is dissolved. This is known as the Oleo Saccrum. Fuck yes it is.
After the OS is ready, the lemons are juiced. Don't be a pussy and use bottled shit.
Finally, add the juice and all the booze to the bowl, and refrigerate for at least two hours. Extract the peels, and add up to an additional pint of water if needed. Bottle.
The good news is this is a great punch recipe. The bad news is everyone kept asking me if I “roofied it.”
Sweet bastard, this one is great. I mean it, hold on to yer ballsacks, they’re about to get blown off. Blown the fuck off, brojangles. I had this – or at least something similar – at Bar DeVille in Chicago a few months back. It’s a solid spot. Good cocktails, hip crowd… not stuffy, not fancy, just good drinks. So, I’m gonna call this one the Tokyo Jim, just for fun. Deal with that, for a change.
Toyko Jim
3 oz. Cognac (or good quality Brandy)
1.5 oz. Sweet Vermouth (I used CA)
.5 oz. Maraschino
A few dash Ango
Stir, serve up, spray some lemon oil over it… if you’ve got the ballsacks for it (that’s they refer to in showbiz as a comedic throwback.)
Earlier today I stumbled across a place called the River House, and was fucking tickled to find they served Chatham Artillery Punch, which is exceptionally ass kicking, since it was created in Savannah, GA probably around 200 years ago, as the house punch of the Chatham County Artillery of Savannah, Georgia, formed May 1st, 1786.
“When you visit the town of Savannah
Enlist ‘neath the temperance banneh,
For if you should lunch,
On artillery punch,
It will treat you in sorrowful manneh.”
- Old Klingon Proverb.
Chatham Artillery Punch
1 ½ gal. Catawba Wine
½ gal. Rum (probably Jamaican)
1 qt. Gin
1 qt. Brandy
½ pt. Benedictine
2 qt. Maraschino Cherries
1 ½ qt. Rye Whiskey
1 ½ gal. Strong Tea (probably black)
2 ½ lbs. brown sugar
1 ½ qts. Orange juice
1 ½ qts. Lemon Juice
Mix from thrity-six to forty-eight hours before serving. Add one case of champagne when ready to serve.
The owner says this will make 5 gallons, and trying to reduce this amount ends is disaster. They, however, make their batches 20 gallons at a clip. Well played, sir.
The CA Punch is a like an American version of Sangria – but the good stuff – not the stuff that tastes like rotting fruit. It’s definitely one of the more substantial and boozy punches I’ve had, and the topping of Champagne makes it a bit lighter and fizzier. Umm, apparently four was too many.
Well, not really, but a good article on the Sazerac, anyways:
http://www.nypost.com/seven/04142009/entertainment/travel/a_history_of_drinking_164253.htm
I’ve gotten a few notes from loyal readers who have said, “Captain, your posts are brilliantly written and your recipes are incredibly intriguing, but as a novice tippler I need something more basic to make at home.” Okay… to be honest, no one has called my posts “brilliantly written.” And my recipes aren’t exactly “incredibly intriguing” per se. And I don’t really have any “loyal readers.” But after a brief glance at my web page a sympathetic friend pointed out that most of these drinks seem overly complicated and “a little faggy.” So here’s the basics. The Old Fashioned cocktail. The most un-faggy drink you can get.
To start out you’re going to need a few things:
Whiskey (American), Bourbon or Rye
This could be a nice Bulleit Bourbon or Rittenhouse Rye, or you could use Jack if that’s what you’re into. It can be an 80*, a 100* (bonded) or a +100* (overproof). You’ll be able to tame the drink down with the ice if you need to.
Angostura Bitters
Yes, that shit they sell at the grocery store. The same crap your mom has had in her pantry for the last twenty years. Turns out it tastes great and is great for you. Well, maybe not great for you, but… shut up, that’s how come.
Sugar
White superfine table sugar, sugar in the raw, Mexican pilloncillo, I don’t care. Just make sure it will dissolve in a bit of hot water.
Lemon or Orange
Either will work. I like lemons in my bourbon and oranges in my rye. Whatevs.
Mixing Glass
Bottom of a shaker, handy pint glass, great grandfather’s emptied out urn (trust me – he’ll be cool with it), just something that will hold a few ounces of booze and a some ice.
Old Fashioned Glass
Heavy bottomed small glass. Or a cocktail glass. Or a brandy snifter. Or a fucking sippy cup.
Spoon
A chopstick will also work.
Ice
Large pieces. Not cracked or crushed. As big as you can get.
Vegetable peeler
Or pairing knife.
Once you’ve got all that wrangled up, come back.
Ready? So soon? Did you remember the vegetable peeler? You did. Okay, what about the mixing glass? Sure, sure, that will work. Ummm… I guess you really are ready. You do nice work, my friend. I’m expecting great things from you.
Old Fashioned
4 oz. Bourbon or Rye
1 tsp. White Sugar
A few Dashes Angostura Bitters
Lemon or Orange Peel
In the bottom of your mixing glass, combine sugar, bitters, and a splash of hot water to dissolve the sugar. When it’s fully dissolved, add the whiskey, a few pieces of ice, and stir thoroughly until cold. Strain into an old fashioned (low) glass. If using a higher proof whiskey you’ll probably want to add a few cubes. If so, don’t use the ice you mixed with – it’ll water the drink down too quickly as it’s already begun to melt.
With haste, use your vegetable peeler or paring knife, and cut yourself a nice wide strip of peel from your piece of citrus (mine are usually ½” wide by a few inches long). However, take care to avoid as much of the white pith as possible (it’s bitter). With the outside of the peel pointed towards the surface of the booze, give it a good twist. You should see a fine mist of oil hit the surface of the drink. That’s some fragrant shit right there, let me tell you. Then, take the peel and rub it around the rim of the glass, and discard it.
No fruit salads are needed for this drink (the addition of lots of fruits occurred during prohibition when they needed to make bathtub whiskey taste better). And people who add club soda to an Old Fashioned should have their arms broken while their children watch.
Wow, that got pretty harsh at the end, didn’t it? Good thing you’ve got a boss drink to help you deal.
P.S., I’m gonna start throwing the word “boss” around quite a bit.
“Now I will give you the formula for the one and only one, the Ramos Original Gin Fizz. But in publishing it you must say that if success does not attend the first mixture, a second should be tried. And be sure to use an airtight shaker and to shake and shake and shake until there is not a bubble left but the drink is smooth and snowy white and of the consistency of good rich milk. The secret in success lies in the good care you take and in your patience, and be certain to use good material.”
- H.C. Ramos, New Orleans Item-Tribune, Sunday, September 23, 1928
Ahhh, the fizz. There are many, many variations. The Morning Glory Fizz. The Sloe Gin Fizz. The Golden Fox Fizz. But the king of them all is the Ramos Gin Fizz, aka the New Orleans Fizz. Without getting into too much detail and historical accuracies, this drink was invented by the Ramos brothers at their bar, the Imperial Cabinet in New Orleans, sometime before prohibition. They kept the recipe secret, but finally made it public to protest the “Temperance Movement.” It’s a huge pain in the ass to make, but it’s a delicious little bastard.
Ramos Gin Fizz
2 oz. Gin
1 oz. Simple Syrup
.5 oz. Lemon Juice
.5 oz. Lime Juice
.5 oz. Cream
1 Egg White
Club Soda
Mix all ingredients in a shaker (save the Club Soda) without ice. Shake vigorously for a few seconds. Add cracked ice – as much as you can get in the shaker yet still allow room for movement – and shake beyond all sense and reason. Pour into a narrow mouthed Collins glass, and top off with a bit of Soda. Garnish with a drop or two of orange flower water, if you’ve got it on hand. Finally, if you’ve made this drink properly, you should be able to stick a straw in the foam, which should have enough surface tension to keep it afloat.
If you’re looking for a more informative take on this drink, check out the following article:
http://chanticleersociety.org/wikis/cocktails/ramos-gin-fizz.aspx
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