Me? I’m a root beer guy. And I’m also a BLT guy. But in terms of drinks, I’m a root beer guy. Unless I’m drinking whiskey, in which case I’m a drunk guy. Either way. This drink here? Well… It’ll knock your dick in the dirt. (Which is an expression that a friend of mine used to say quite a bit, but I’ve never honestly understood what it meant. Until now.)
Root Beer Flizzip
1 oz. Cruzan Black Strap Rum
1 oz. Art in the Age Root Liqueur
.5 oz. Canela Syrup
Whole Egg
Dry / Hard / Double / Nutmeg
And let me just take a moment to endorse Art in the Age Root Liqueur. As I mentioned earlier, root beer plays a very important role in my life. As soon as this stuff became available, I was on it like Michelle Kwan, dressed as Voltron at Comicon, drinking a Fin du Monde, chilling with Steve Zahn who was, as usual, acting like a moron. It’s infinitely better than BlackMaker Root Beer Liqueur, which is another new product available here, and tastes artificially root beery. Which I’m pretty sure, is a thing.
For those of you who live in states like New York or California or Denver, you are fortunate enough to be able to buy your booze in a “free market” environment. Michigan, unfortunately, is a “control state,” which means that all the liquor has to be sold by the manufacturer to the state, who then marks it up and sells it to the bars, party stores, etc. It’s some bullshit law that dates back to prohibition, and needless to say, inherently inhibits the spirits that are sold in the state, and increases their price point to boot. And it also means, as a licensee, we cannot sell spirits that are not sold thru the state (I think technically it’s considered bootlegging). So when you’re reading thru the bloggs about all the sexy new liquors and liqueurs that the kids are using (Bols Genever, Battavia Arrack, etc., etc.,), rest assured that they are beyond our reach, and that Michigan will therefore always reside in the dark taint of the mixology world.
So let me be the first to say how very “fucking jazzed up” I am that the Haus Alpenz wine based liqueur portfolio is now on sale here. It’s only stuff under 20% abv, but we’ll take it. With any luck, we’ll get the rest of the portfolio in the state next year, so we can really “run with the dick punchers,” as the kids say.
So yeah, we’re going heavy with that shit on my new menu. Can you blame us?
The Historic Brownfield Project
1.5 oz. Wild Turkey Rye
.5 oz. Cynar
.5 oz. Cardamaro
3 dash Root Beer Bitters
This bastard tastes like a bitter little dirt sandwich, in all the right ways. The root beer bitts really make the whole thing work, and if you squeeze a lemon peel over top, well, then you’re doing God’s work.
Here’s a tip: if you don’t like mezcal, just give it up. Just give up on life, cause you’ve already fucking lost. It’s way, way up there with the best stuff I’ve ever put in my mouth. And everybody that knows anybody that knows anything about cocktails knows that single village mezcal is the thing to be getting woooorsted on these days. To that end, my freaks, I give you the Gun Show…
The Gun Show
1 oz. Vida Mezcal
1 oz. Elijah Craig 12 Year Bourbon
.375 oz. Chestnut Syrup
a few dashes orange bitters
Build in glass, add ice, stir, represent.
There are some drinks out there, like the Last Word, that combine extremely different flavors with complete success. I don’t hesitate to say this is one of those drinks. Instant fucking classic… Assuming you like extremely smokey, bitter, citrusy stuff. If not, this drink probably isn’t for you. Or whatever. The important thing is, I probably went through about ten variations of this drink, until I came up with this one, and now, honestly, I can say the world is a little better because of it.
"That shit is fucking McMazing" - David Foster Wallace
Famous Last Words
.75 oz. Laphroaig
.75 oz. Aperol
.75 oz. Bonal
.75 oz. Lemon
Shake, double strain into a coupe.
You’re welcome.
The Doug Cooper, as I like to call it, is a classic*, and was named after the HMS Douglas Cooper**, a British war ship that took heavy fire and subsequently sank in the south Pacific during the Cuban-Panamanian war of 1952***. Fittingly, it’s a really solid tropical rum drink (original formula: white rum, dry vermouth, lime & simple). Here’s an excerpt from the short lived Boston Spangler, dated 1953:
“Reports from the south seas suggest the boys are taking quite a liking to the native’s rhum, which they’re drinking down with lime (to keep off the scurv) and white Italian wine, seized from a ship outside the TanHauser**** Port. Apparently it’s really becoming quite the cocky-tail among the young seamen.”
The balance of the rum, lime and vermouth is really very nice, but I had a few modifications in mind for this one, to “sex it up” a bit.
The Douglas Cooper Cocktail #2
1 oz. El Dorado 3 Year aged Light Rum
1 oz. Cocchi Americano
.5 oz. Lime
1 barspoon house made apricot – ginger preserve
2 dash cardamom bitters
Shake, double strain into a coupe.
This thing is like the velvety sleeve of a wizard.
John Lennon once famously said, “I’m an artist, and if you give me a tuba, I’ll bring you something out of it.” Well, I’m like that, but with Laphroaig. What can I say? It’s my muse, my inspiration, and my life partner. So this one here, well, it’s gonna be huge… arguably bigger than Jebus himself.
Where There’s Smoke…
1.5 oz. Blended Scotch (I like White Horse here)
.5 oz. Grade C Maple Syrup
.5 oz. Lemon Juice
Shake, double strain into a rocks glass. Add a few ounces of Laphroaig foam*, and a dash of cayenne pepper over top.
*To make Laphroaig foam, combine five ounces of the balls, plus two of water and three of simple, and four egg whites in an iSi prof-whip canister. Chill and shake before use.
Since the start we’ve had an old fashioned on our menu. First it was the Autumn Old Fashioned (wild turkey rye, apple cider reduction, ango), and then it was the Blackfoot Old Fashioned (riverboat rye, grade C maple syrup, blackfoot bitters, flamed orange peel). And these have been consistently our best seller. Maybe because they’re always the cheapest drink on the menu at $7 – but maybe also because people still enjoy simple, complimentary flavors without all the hoopla.
The concept for this drink actually came to me in the middle of the night. Not really in a dream, cause only pussies dream, so let’s say… in a whiskey induced hallucination.
The Johnny Rottenseed (Old Fashioned)
2 oz. Laird’s Bonded Applejack
.5 oz. Coca Cola Syrup*
Dash house orange bitters
Build this in the glass, add a few large cubes, and give it a stir. Let those cubes dilute a bit, since we’re dealing with 100* goods here, and then add a few more cubes. We use large cubes from our Kold Draft, but you can use whatever the fuck you want, my homey.
*Reduce Mexican coke down to about 25% of it’s original volume to make the syrup. It’s pretty rad stuff.
Tomorrow’s drink: Where There’s Smoke…
Since we opened in early October, we’ve changed our menu 19 times. I know…. like, really? And then we’re like, yes. Not complete makeovers, mind you, but swapping out this drink for that, etc. And not a single drink we opened with still exists on our menu, which you’ve got to admit is pretty cool. Now, not all of them have been the complex masterpieces we are known for, but we also wanted to keep the menu a bit accessible for those people who don’t really know what we’re about yet. I know what you’re thinking: that’s not what you signed up for. I get it. You want new and exciting, and we want to give that to you. But listen brohammers, it’s not easy being sleazy, as they say. Actually, that has nothing to do with the conversation, but I wanted to slip it in there… ahem … so to speak.
So, we’ve been plotting and planning, spending all hours working on new drinks that will eclipse our previous drinks in terms of complexity and sophistication. Yes, we’ll still make you a sazerac and be pretty happy about it, but we’re rolling out some balls-deep shit here. We’ve even got some fancy new toys we’re going to show off. But slow. Slowly. Slow. Don’t get all jazzed up. The new menu will be released on NYE. Until then, I’m going to drop a new drink from the menu on the blog, along with a photo and the recipe, so you can make it at home, or rip it off, or whatever. Consider it a gift, from us to you, during this holiday season.
Tonight’s drink: The Johnny Rottenseed
Yeah, I know, all the kids are barrel aging crap these days. Manhattans and Tridents and Caprices and whatnot. And I hear that shit. It’s rad. Cocktails, barrels, etc,… why not? But I’m thinking to myself, “dear Captain, what are we really missing in our lives?” And you know what I said to us? “Old Tom gin? Yes.” Number one thing that makes my life incomplete. And yes, when I think private thoughts I address myself in the third party. And also as a Captain, which anyone can tell you is much cooler than just some douche bag.
Where was I? [DuPont cider is magnificent, but tends to lead the mind astray if one has too many whilst blogging] Ah yes. Barrels!
We recently scored a lovely 5 gallon whiskey barrel from our friends at New Holland Spirits. If you’re not familiar with New Holland’s line of spirits (or beers, for that matter), I’d say your priorities are probably a bit of mess at this point, and maybe you should start reconsidering some of those decisions that you made earlier in life, and get yourself a bottle of Superior Rum and Zepplin Bend Whiskey and just hang out in your room for a few days and figure some shit out.
So we hatched a little scheme – the two of us – to barrel age some gin, and make a house Old Tom. It required about two cases of Knickerbocker, and I think it’s gonna take about two months, but I’ll be damned if some no talent douche bag tell me what I can and can’t do with my gin.
Here’s a link to pretty cool blog and a photoshoot that was done at the bar a few weeks back. Check it out…
http://designdetroit.us/2011/09/23/1019/
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2130 Michigan Ave, Detroit, MI, 48026
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