Monthly Archives: September 2009

The Dark 'n Stormy

So, it’s fair to say that I have been smashing on what most would consider a pretty boss amount of rum – as is common for me in the summertime.  Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to score any high quality Bermudan (Bermudian?, Bermudish?) rum.  And then, there I was, exhausted from multiple unsuccessful attempts at hovercrafting (hovercraftering?, hovercraftinating?) - which, it turns out is actually a thing – thinking to myself, summer may be nearly over, but I still need to get drunk immediately.  And then I happened to buy a bottle of Gosling’s Black Seal rum, which is also pretty cool.  And is required for the Dark ’n Stormy.  So, you see, we’ve come full circle, you and I.   

Dark ‘n Stormy

5 oz. Ginger Beer

3 oz. Dark Rum (Black Seal or Black Strap)

Lime Wedge

Combine in a tall glass with plenty of ice.  Drink.

Being that the Dark ‘n Stormy is the official national drink of Bermuda, one probably shouldn’t use a Jamaican ginger beer, as I have done.  But, I would point out to you that in fact, I have only used a Jamaican style ginger beer, because Goya is a Mexican company.  So who’s a dick now?  Not me buddy, not fucking me.  Anyways, if you have the wherewithal to make your own ginger beer, I challenge you to do so.  Dick.

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What's the Como?

Great question.  Very great question.  The Como is a mojito-ish cocktail I came up with just a few minutes ago.  Because let’s face it, when you live in Capital Park, you’re gonna have to deal with some weird shit.  Sometimes, upon stumbling home from the bar, you may find a stray dog and take it home, as I did last night.  Other times, you might get drunk and give half your jalapeno, ham and pineapple pizza to a homeless dude that smells like popcorn and shoes, as I did two nights ago.  The point is, as difficult as it can be sometimes, it’s important to be consistenly drunk /drinking, as this type of shit just doesnt happen to sobers.  With that in mind, I’ve created the Como: a perfect drink for those lazy Tuesday mornings.   

The Como(jito)

3 oz. Light Rum

1/2 lime, quartered

2 sprigs of mint

1 tsp. sugar

Dash Ginger beer

Combine the lime pieces, sugar and what some would call a reckless amount of mint leaves in the bottom of a high ball glass.  Muddle thoroughly.  Add rum, fill with crushed ice, and top off with a sharp ginger beer.

The rum I’m using is called Paso Fino, a decidedly kick ass light rum from Puerto Rico.  It was on the bottom shelf at the liquor store and was all covered in dust, but I was like, “fuck’s it,” so here we find ourselves.  This shit is really sweet, so I cut down on the sugar, and it’s only 60*, so I went with 4 oz.  But that’s neither here nor there.  Any good light rum (light in color, not flavor) will do the triznick.  And, you’ll notice I topped this saucy little bitch off with some giner beer – I know, I know, it was a gamble, but it paid off.  As they say, god hates a coward.  Plus, without the ginger beer it would just be a Mojito.

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